Просмотр новости
Найдите то, что Вас интересует
Спутники
РН
SpaceX
Роскосмос
NASA
Some new commercials I made
Дата публикации: 17-10-2026 15:07:14
Hello everyone! I tried to make some new radio advertisements for some of the GTA 2 in-game products using AI. Sadly, text versions only. There are also some new lore-friendly products I made up myself. Here are some of them:
S-Uzi
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: S-Uzi — Firepower for the Whole Family!
(Sound Effect: Peaceful morning suburbia noises, birds chirping, the rustling of a morning newspaper)
WOMAN'S VOICE (Pleasant, like in a yogurt commercial):
— Oh, what a wonderful morning in Anywhere City! The sun is shining, the kids are playing on the lawn, and my husband… is once again trying to shoot his way out of an IRS audit and deranged SRS clones. It used to be such a headache!
(Sound Effect: Deafening explosion in the background, panicking screams, police sirens)
WOMAN'S VOICE (Continues just as sweetly):
— Ordinary pistols kept jamming, and bulky rocket launchers left nasty burn marks on my kitchen counters. But everything changed when we discovered the S-Uzi Family Pack!
(Sound Effect: Insanely fast and aggressive S-Uzi gunfire chatter, followed by the tinkling of empty shell casings)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Extreme, screaming, typical 90s macho commercial voice):
— HELL YEAH, PAL! Meet the all-new S-Uzi "Hearth & Home" edition! Now with a chrome silencer that won't wake the neighbors while you clear street gangs off your lawn!
MAN'S VOICE (Cheerful husband):
— Thanks to the incredible rate of fire of the S-Uzi, I can unload forty rounds before my wife even finishes her morning coffee! Protecting private property has never been so… automatic!
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Fast, high-energy):
— Stuck in traffic? S-Uzi! Boss won't give you time off? S-Uzi! Mother-in-law showed up unannounced? Oh yeah, baby, you definitely need the S-Uzi! Buy one, get one free at any legal or illegal firearms vendor in your sector!
(Audio Stinger: Upbeat, futuristic jingle)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Reading the legal disclaimer at breakneck speed):
— S-Uzi Corporation is not responsible for accidental family disintegration, hearing loss, spontaneous urges to rob a bank, or declaring war on the SRS Corporation. Ammo not included. And remember: Respect is everything!
Miara
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: True speed with an Eastern accent — The all-new Miara!
(Sound Effect: A menacing, pumping J-Rock style electronic beat, the whistle of a turbo, and the wild roar of a tuned engine, transitioning into the screech of tires on wet asphalt)
JAPANESE VOICE (Hyperactive, screaming, like in crazy 90s anime trailers):
— スピード！パワー！圧倒的な破壊力！(— Speed! Power! Absolute destructive force!)
ヤクザの誇り、新型 Miara がついにストリートを支配する！(— The pride of the Yakuza, the new Miara finally dominates the streets!)
(Sound Effect: The "swoosh" of a samurai sword being drawn, immediately followed by the explosion of a police car)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Deep, dramatic voice):
— Forget about the laws of physics, street scum. The new Miara «Shogun Edition» is here! Twin-turbo engine, carbon chassis, and custom armor that laughs at corporate rocket launchers!
JAPANESE VOICE (Suddenly shifts to a respectful but bone-chilling tone):
— あなたの敵は一瞬で消え去る。(— Your enemies will vanish in the blink of an eye.)
新型のトランクには、最大３人分の「お土産」が収納可能です！(— The trunk of the new model can accommodate up to three "souvenirs"!)
(Sound Effect: The click of a trunk opening, muffled gagged groaning, a heavy thud of the lid slamming back down)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE:
— Do you want respect from the Yakuza? Do you want Zaibatsu executives to wet their suits when they see your headlights in the rearview mirror? Step on the gas, kid!
JAPANESE VOICE (Explodes into a scream again over a frantic beat):
— 今すぐ走れ！新型 Miara！死ぬか、勝つか、それだけだ！( — Drive right now! The new Miara! Die or win, there is no in-between!)
(Audio Stinger: A sharp screech of brakes, transitioning into the final chord of a traditional Japanese koto instrument mixed with a siren)
Grievous Bodily Harm
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: Grievous Bodily Harm — The simulator to replace your pathetic life!
ANNOUNCER (Hyperactive, screaming at the top of his lungs, typical 90s video game commercial host):
— HEY, YOU! Yeah, you, the pimply nerd hiding in your smelly apartment from street thugs! Tired of getting mugged by the Loonies? Sick of getting your butt kicked by the Zaibatsu guys? Stop taking beatings in real life! Take them to the virtual world instead!
(Sound Effect: Arcade-style "KA-BOOM!" explosion)
ANNOUNCER:
— Meet Grievous Bodily Harm! The most realistic criminal underworld simulator from DMA-95! Now you don’t have to step out into the toxic rain of Anywhere City to jack cars! Do it right on your monitor screen!
(Sound Effect: Pixelated, sped-up rattling of an S-Uzi machine gun and screams fading into 8-bit noise)
TEENAGER (Enthusiastic nerd with a cracking voice):
— Wow! In Grievous Bodily Harm, I can run over pixelated pedestrians by the hundreds, and nobody can stop me! Plus, there’s a button that blows up all my bullies! My mom thinks I’m studying math, but I’m actually learning how to collect protection money from the local mafia! Thanks, GBH!
(Sound Effect: The classic, painfully familiar ring of a street payphone)
ANNOUNCER (Shifting to a mysterious whisper):
— Pick up the phone, kid. Take a hit contract on your own neighbor! Earn Gang Respect! Buy pixelated weapons! If you get wasted — just hit Restart Level and try again! In this game, the cops are dumber than your grandma’s microwave!
(Audio Break: Upbeat arcade jingle)
ANNOUNCER (Reading the disclaimer at breakneck speed):
— Grievous Bodily Harm is not recommended for pregnant women, cops, or sane people. The developers are not responsible if, after 10 hours of gameplay, you go outside, jack a random driver out of their car, and start looking for a pink arrow floating over your head. Age restriction: if you can hold a gun, you're good to go.
(The commercial ends, and Spaz Funbags bursts onto the air with wild laughter)
SPAZ FUNBAGS:
— Ha-ha-ha! A game about violence?! Why should I buy a game about violence when I can just open my window and hurl a brick through the windshield of a passing car?! Alright, you doofuses, here’s a track...
Windows 95 Z-Edition
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: Windows 95 Z-Edition — "Control Your Chaos"
(Sound Effect: The Windows 95 startup chime, but remixed into industrial techno with heavy distortion and pounding bass)
ANNOUNCER (Cold, robotic, yet aggressively corporate voice):
— Is your personal computer still freezing up when you try to hack the police database? Is your outdated software lagging while calculating the trajectory of a nuclear strike on the Yakuza sector? Forget that garbage! The Zaibatsu Corporation introduces the new operating system for those who rule the streets. Windows 95: Z-Edition!
(Sound Effect: Fast, frantic mouse-clicking morphing into a machine-gun burst: RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!)
FEMALE VOICE (A sweet, sickeningly polite Zaibatsu secretary):
— I used to have to manually delete files containing the names of witnesses. But with the new "Z-Recycle Bin" feature, I can dispose of not just compromising documents, but the witnesses themselves! Just open your Cardfile Database and drag-and-drop the target's card into the Z-Bin. The system automatically pings their coordinates to our assassins, and the asset is physically deleted! Thank you, Zaibatsu!
(Sound Effect: Sinister digital laughter)
ANNOUNCER:
— Feel absolute control over the city!
• The "Zaibatsu Defender" Suite! Our built-in firewall fries the brains of wannabe hackers directly through their telephone modems!
• The "Quick Launch" Feature! Forget clicking. Map a hotkey to instantly detonate the car bomb of your debtor!
• Plug and Play System! Connect cybernetic implants or an ElectroGun straight to your PC with no system reboot required!
(Sound Effect: The iconic Windows critical error sound, immediately followed by a massive explosion out on the street)
ANNOUNCER:
— Windows 95 Z-Edition. Boot up your future. Or we'll wipe out your present.
(The announcer drops into an insanely fast legal disclaimer voice)
— By clicking the "I Agree" button, you voluntarily surrender your kidneys, bone marrow, and the property of your relatives up to the third generation into the perpetual ownership of the Zaibatsu Corporation.
Основное содержимое страницы с новостью.
Hello everyone! I tried to make some new radio advertisements for some of the GTA 2 in-game products using AI. Sadly, text versions only. There are also some new lore-friendly products I made up myself. Here are some of them:
S-Uzi
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: S-Uzi — Firepower for the Whole Family!
(Sound Effect: Peaceful morning suburbia noises, birds chirping, the rustling of a morning newspaper)
WOMAN'S VOICE (Pleasant, like in a yogurt commercial):
— Oh, what a wonderful morning in Anywhere City! The sun is shining, the kids are playing on the lawn, and my husband… is once again trying to shoot his way out of an IRS audit and deranged SRS clones. It used to be such a headache!
(Sound Effect: Deafening explosion in the background, panicking screams, police sirens)
WOMAN'S VOICE (Continues just as sweetly):
— Ordinary pistols kept jamming, and bulky rocket launchers left nasty burn marks on my kitchen counters. But everything changed when we discovered the S-Uzi Family Pack!
(Sound Effect: Insanely fast and aggressive S-Uzi gunfire chatter, followed by the tinkling of empty shell casings)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Extreme, screaming, typical 90s macho commercial voice):
— HELL YEAH, PAL! Meet the all-new S-Uzi "Hearth & Home" edition! Now with a chrome silencer that won't wake the neighbors while you clear street gangs off your lawn!
MAN'S VOICE (Cheerful husband):
— Thanks to the incredible rate of fire of the S-Uzi, I can unload forty rounds before my wife even finishes her morning coffee! Protecting private property has never been so… automatic!
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Fast, high-energy):
— Stuck in traffic? S-Uzi! Boss won't give you time off? S-Uzi! Mother-in-law showed up unannounced? Oh yeah, baby, you definitely need the S-Uzi! Buy one, get one free at any legal or illegal firearms vendor in your sector!
(Audio Stinger: Upbeat, futuristic jingle)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Reading the legal disclaimer at breakneck speed):
— S-Uzi Corporation is not responsible for accidental family disintegration, hearing loss, spontaneous urges to rob a bank, or declaring war on the SRS Corporation. Ammo not included. And remember: Respect is everything!
Miara
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: True speed with an Eastern accent — The all-new Miara!
(Sound Effect: A menacing, pumping J-Rock style electronic beat, the whistle of a turbo, and the wild roar of a tuned engine, transitioning into the screech of tires on wet asphalt)
JAPANESE VOICE (Hyperactive, screaming, like in crazy 90s anime trailers):
— スピード！パワー！圧倒的な破壊力！(— Speed! Power! Absolute destructive force!)
ヤクザの誇り、新型 Miara がついにストリートを支配する！(— The pride of the Yakuza, the new Miara finally dominates the streets!)
(Sound Effect: The "swoosh" of a samurai sword being drawn, immediately followed by the explosion of a police car)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE (Deep, dramatic voice):
— Forget about the laws of physics, street scum. The new Miara «Shogun Edition» is here! Twin-turbo engine, carbon chassis, and custom armor that laughs at corporate rocket launchers!
JAPANESE VOICE (Suddenly shifts to a respectful but bone-chilling tone):
— あなたの敵は一瞬で消え去る。(— Your enemies will vanish in the blink of an eye.)
新型のトランクには、最大３人分の「お土産」が収納可能です！(— The trunk of the new model can accommodate up to three "souvenirs"!)
(Sound Effect: The click of a trunk opening, muffled gagged groaning, a heavy thud of the lid slamming back down)
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE:
— Do you want respect from the Yakuza? Do you want Zaibatsu executives to wet their suits when they see your headlights in the rearview mirror? Step on the gas, kid!
JAPANESE VOICE (Explodes into a scream again over a frantic beat):
— 今すぐ走れ！新型 Miara！死ぬか、勝つか、それだけだ！( — Drive right now! The new Miara! Die or win, there is no in-between!)
(Audio Stinger: A sharp screech of brakes, transitioning into the final chord of a traditional Japanese koto instrument mixed with a siren)
Grievous Bodily Harm
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: Grievous Bodily Harm — The simulator to replace your pathetic life!
ANNOUNCER (Hyperactive, screaming at the top of his lungs, typical 90s video game commercial host):
— HEY, YOU! Yeah, you, the pimply nerd hiding in your smelly apartment from street thugs! Tired of getting mugged by the Loonies? Sick of getting your butt kicked by the Zaibatsu guys? Stop taking beatings in real life! Take them to the virtual world instead!
(Sound Effect: Arcade-style "KA-BOOM!" explosion)
ANNOUNCER:
— Meet Grievous Bodily Harm! The most realistic criminal underworld simulator from DMA-95! Now you don’t have to step out into the toxic rain of Anywhere City to jack cars! Do it right on your monitor screen!
(Sound Effect: Pixelated, sped-up rattling of an S-Uzi machine gun and screams fading into 8-bit noise)
TEENAGER (Enthusiastic nerd with a cracking voice):
— Wow! In Grievous Bodily Harm, I can run over pixelated pedestrians by the hundreds, and nobody can stop me! Plus, there’s a button that blows up all my bullies! My mom thinks I’m studying math, but I’m actually learning how to collect protection money from the local mafia! Thanks, GBH!
(Sound Effect: The classic, painfully familiar ring of a street payphone)
ANNOUNCER (Shifting to a mysterious whisper):
— Pick up the phone, kid. Take a hit contract on your own neighbor! Earn Gang Respect! Buy pixelated weapons! If you get wasted — just hit Restart Level and try again! In this game, the cops are dumber than your grandma’s microwave!
(Audio Break: Upbeat arcade jingle)
ANNOUNCER (Reading the disclaimer at breakneck speed):
— Grievous Bodily Harm is not recommended for pregnant women, cops, or sane people. The developers are not responsible if, after 10 hours of gameplay, you go outside, jack a random driver out of their car, and start looking for a pink arrow floating over your head. Age restriction: if you can hold a gun, you're good to go.
(The commercial ends, and Spaz Funbags bursts onto the air with wild laughter)
SPAZ FUNBAGS:
— Ha-ha-ha! A game about violence?! Why should I buy a game about violence when I can just open my window and hurl a brick through the windshield of a passing car?! Alright, you doofuses, here’s a track...
Windows 95 Z-Edition
Spoiler
RADIO COMMERCIAL: Windows 95 Z-Edition — "Control Your Chaos"
(Sound Effect: The Windows 95 startup chime, but remixed into industrial techno with heavy distortion and pounding bass)
ANNOUNCER (Cold, robotic, yet aggressively corporate voice):
— Is your personal computer still freezing up when you try to hack the police database? Is your outdated software lagging while calculating the trajectory of a nuclear strike on the Yakuza sector? Forget that garbage! The Zaibatsu Corporation introduces the new operating system for those who rule the streets. Windows 95: Z-Edition!
(Sound Effect: Fast, frantic mouse-clicking morphing into a machine-gun burst: RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!)
FEMALE VOICE (A sweet, sickeningly polite Zaibatsu secretary):
— I used to have to manually delete files containing the names of witnesses. But with the new "Z-Recycle Bin" feature, I can dispose of not just compromising documents, but the witnesses themselves! Just open your Cardfile Database and drag-and-drop the target's card into the Z-Bin. The system automatically pings their coordinates to our assassins, and the asset is physically deleted! Thank you, Zaibatsu!
(Sound Effect: Sinister digital laughter)
ANNOUNCER:
— Feel absolute control over the city!
• The "Zaibatsu Defender" Suite! Our built-in firewall fries the brains of wannabe hackers directly through their telephone modems!
• The "Quick Launch" Feature! Forget clicking. Map a hotkey to instantly detonate the car bomb of your debtor!
• Plug and Play System! Connect cybernetic implants or an ElectroGun straight to your PC with no system reboot required!
(Sound Effect: The iconic Windows critical error sound, immediately followed by a massive explosion out on the street)
ANNOUNCER:
— Windows 95 Z-Edition. Boot up your future. Or we'll wipe out your present.
(The announcer drops into an insanely fast legal disclaimer voice)
— By clicking the "I Agree" button, you voluntarily surrender your kidneys, bone marrow, and the property of your relatives up to the third generation into the perpetual ownership of the Zaibatsu Corporation.
Схожие новости
| # | Наименование новости | Тональность | Информативность | Дата публикации |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | GTA2Plus | 0 | 6.46 | 06-10-2026 |
| 2 | GTA V vehicles converted to San Andreas v1.6 & VehFuncs pack v1.5 [March 2026 Update!] | 0 | 14.72 | 15-07-2014 |
| 3 | GTA Vice City Chain Game Round 96 - Generated Vehicles | 0 | 13.39 | 07-07-2026 |
| 4 | VC Render – A New Graphics Overhaul Mod for GTA Vice City | 0 | 4 | 04-07-2026 |
| 5 | Grand Theft Auto IV Chain Game Round 16 | 0 | 12.39 | 23-01-2026 |
| 6 | Jason & Lucia's Waiting Room Electric Boogaloo Mk LXVI | 0 | 14.84 | 20-07-2026 |
| 7 | Game crashing when switching between episodes | -2 | 6 | 20-05-2026 |
| 8 | [IV|WIP] Project: NYC 1980s | 0 | 6.24 | 20-05-2016 |
| 9 | Kekw Christmas - Winter - December 2025 Edition | -3 | 2 | 09-12-2025 |
| 10 | Johnny Klebitz Appreciation Thread | 0 | 4.36 | 19-04-2020 |
Классификация: . Схожих патентов: 0. Схожих новостей: 10. Тональность: 0. Информативность: 13.47. Источник: gtaforums.com.