"I was her ticket out of a town where she was no longer welcome."View Entire Post ›
In this recent story, I covered the secrets married people found out about their spouse after they said their I do's, and the stories were juicy. It resonated with readers who wrote in with their own tales, and I think this batch gets even wilder. From financial secrets to kinks and wild backstories, here's what people had to say:
Additional responses were also found here.
1.
"My brother’s second wife was looking for a baby daddy as her dream was to be a mom. With $200k in student loan debt, she decided to stay home with her one baby. She expected my brother to pay off HER debt, and when he filed for divorce, she turned his kid against him because it meant she would have to get a job. My brother thought the child would be better adjusted in life, going to school, because she was so far behind others and not well socialized. Mommy dearest wanted to continue homeschooling so she wouldn’t have to work and watch videos with the kid. She continues to be obsessive about their kid, even keeping her in the same bed until at least 12, that we know of. Divorce got my brother out of the dysfunction."
2.
"My husband confessed that he was a cross-dresser three years after we were married. I was always wondering why my shoes were stretched out. Apparently, he liked wearing my heels and other clothing when I wasn’t around. I felt lied to and wish he had told me in the two years we were together before getting married. After that, he always wanted to wear wigs, nylons, and heels when we were being intimate. I tried but could never feel comfortable with it."
—Anonymous
3.
"After being married about three years, I brought up the subject of kids. She said she could not have kids because she had her tubes tied. I asked why she was on the pill, and she said it was good for her acne. I accepted it and moved on. Years later, I caught her cheating on me. Divorced her immediately. Then I ran into an old estranged friend of hers at the mall. She asked how my wife was, and I told her we had divorced and why. Her friend then told me things about my ex that shocked me, yet it explained everything about her. She had wrecked several relationships before she met me. I was her ticket out of a town where she was no longer welcome. She got her tubes tied because she was sick of getting pregnant all the time. She wasn’t on the pill; she was on antidepressants. She was adopted, an only child, and had a strained relationship with her adoptive parents, which was what I knew of her past and not much else."
4.
"He was addicted to porn and never wanted to have sex. I stayed for 48 years, two kids, and we are financially doing well. We have no intimacy, and I’m incredibly sad and feeling like I missed out on love as I approach my 70th birthday."
—Anonymous
5.
"I found out about two months into our marriage that my wife does not like sex! She seemed to like it when we were dating and throughout our engagement, but she asked me after a couple of months of marriage, 'How many times a week am I gonna have to give you sex to keep you happy?'"
—Anonymous
6.
"Met my husband online and dated for one and a half years before marrying. He told me I was his third wife. It turns out I was his fifth, though he never directly told me that; I discovered it on my own. When I confronted him about it, he said the first two 'didn’t count.'"
7.
"A shockingly happy discovery: Some people come home from work in a pretty good mood, and don’t spend the entire evening bitching and moaning about work/their boss/their co-workers. I had no idea I could share a home with someone who smiled at the end of the day. And I could eventually raise kids with someone like that. The home I grew up in led me to believe every adult comes home from work in a bad mood every day."
—FriendlyConfines23
8.
"My grandmother had made it very clear to her friends that she wouldn't date anyone younger than her (apparently she'd had some interest, but they'd all been younger guys, and she was sick of boys — she wanted MEN, lol). My grandpa, the charmer that he was, was two years younger and determined AS HELL. This was the mid-40s, when the war had just ended, and they both came of age. When they went out for the first time, she didn't hold back and asked outright, "How old are you?" He'd already heard about her preferences through friends and was ready, so he lied through his teeth. Reportedly, he left that date and told everyone that was the girl he was going to marry. Sure enough, months later, the wedding rolls around, and they're signing the marriage license. My grandmother looks down and... Oops! She's marrying a YOUNGER MAN!"
9.
"My husband said he fought in Vietnam, but for some reason, the dates just didn’t add up. He was in the Army, but he would talk to my son as if he were on the front line. I confronted him, and he said he never went to Vietnam. It was a hard conversation. He is a good guy, so I’ll take this to my grave."
—Anonymous
10.
"I had no idea about the depth of her narcissism, alcoholism, and infidelity. Each got worse with every passing year. I stuck around for 35 years to raise our daughter, get her through school, and get her out of the nest at age 22. I left about two weeks after she moved out. I’m much happier now."
—Anonymous
11.
"We dated and lived together for almost a year, then decided to get married. As soon as we did, he decided to let his true colors shine; he’s a closet alcoholic on the verge of killing himself, and we’ve only been married for six months."
12.
"My husband co-signed for his son’s medical school loans while we were married. He died a few years ago, but this financial infidelity nearly broke us. The son had nearly $600k in school debt, and we had already paid for his undergrad at a private college."
—Anonymous
13.
"My wife, from a wealthy family, had over $20,000 in credit card debt (in 1985 dollars). I worked hard and paid off the debt in about a year, but during that time, my wife really wanted to handle the checkbook. I thought, fine, as I had a business and had plenty to do with paying those bills. However, after five years of missed, late payments, and overdrafts, I had to insist on taking control of the checking account/finances again. For the last 35 years, I have been able to achieve an 850+ credit score for both of us, and when we retired, she opened a separate account that her pension and social security go into. She has a personal credit card, and while I don’t know how the payments are made, she has never overdrawn. Lesson learned."
14.
"My former husband and I dated for 18 months before we were married. About a few months later, I found out he had over $25k in student loans. His credit was shot due to co-signing on two different loans, where no payment was made. They repossessed his car in the middle of the night! He told me he owned it. It was a nightmare. We're no longer married!"
—Anonymous
15.
"Her parents ruined her credit by buying Christmas gifts with her credit. They maxed everything out and never paid for anything. When she confronted them, they told her she had accepted the Christmas presents as if committing identity theft was somehow her fault. So there I was with a newborn on the way, married into a family that literally victimized their daughter and gave her next to zero financial education. She bought a car at 30% interest; she had credit so bad we couldn’t rent. She took a payday loan to buy a dog, which she ended up pawning off on her parents. She had pet ferrets, which she didn’t take care of either. SMFH. Red flags everywhere, but I was already invested in a sinking ship. She ended up getting a pretty good inheritance several years later, which, instead of buying a house, she used to divorce me, travel, party, and not work for several years."
16.
"My brother is married to a woman who can't stop spending money. He had to cut off all the family credit cards. He had to remove her name from all the bank accounts. Then she started trying to hit up family members for loans. His house is filled with useless merchandise that she can't stop buying. Every occasion has to be an event. A third cousin's second daughter graduated from kindergarten? Rent a hall and hire a caterer for 200 people. That kind of thing. I don't know why he's still married to her."
—uniquecat52
17.
"That he comes from a long line of abusive men. He changed completely after the wedding. I’ve started with him, but I’ve paid a heavy price. I had no money or an education to make money. I’ve been a prisoner. In my time, no one told you about red flags or being in a position to take care of yourself just in case. The world I grew up in failed a lot of us."
18.
"He doesn't have an internal monologue. I thought everyone did until I brought it up to him, and he had no idea what I was talking about."
—deleted
19.
"He was ten years older than his age, married twice before, and never said a word. Pathological. One could get away with this kind of stuff before the internet came around."
20.
"I married this beautiful girl whose father is a college professor and her older brother is a prominent physician, head of his department. She barely finished the 8th grade!"
—charminggem915
21.
And lastly, "About a week after we got married, I learned he’d been cheating on me for our entire relationship up until when I found out."
—celestialapotheosis
Have you ever discovered a secret about your spouse after marriage? What happened? Let us know in the comments! Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can fill out the form below.
Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
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