Chelsea Handler, who on Wednesday shared a list of vacation rules she has instituted among her nieces and nephews, has the internet feeling conflicted about the pages of stipulations for going on holiday with the famous comedian.
Handler posted on social media the open letter to her loved ones, which was first printed in her 2025 collection of essays entitled “I’ll Have What She’s Having.” While some internet users said that Handler’s words were spot-on and a powerful message to all guests, others felt that the letter was a form of public shaming, that could only worsen any existing tensions within the family.
“It’s family vacation season, which means it’s time to reread the rules,” Handler wrote in the caption. “If you want to vacation with me, these are the rules.”
In the open letter, Handler shared several strict rules to which she called on her nieces and nephews — the children of Olga, likely referring to her sister-in-law, and sister Simone — to follow in order to vacation with her. The conditions included treating her employees with respect, refraining from over-consuming alcohol, cleaning up after themselves, staying off their phones during family time and treating their mothers with respect.
“Our family is dysfunctional, and that is what families are. What we need to work on, however, is manners,” Handler wrote in the open letter. “There was a definite shortfall of manners on this trip, and I left this trip feeling embarrassed and taken advantage of.”
In the letter, Handler also impressed on her eight nieces and nephews that they need to come to vacations “with an attitude of contribution — not one of taking.”
“I want you all to know that going away with me on these trips is not guaranteed. It is a choice I make and it is expensive,” Handler wrote. “A contribution does not mean financial. It means: What sort of pleasantness are you planning to bring on vacation? It is not a free-for-all.”
In the letter’s conclusion, Handler underscored that she loves her family members, but wants to “see you do better, and I promise to do better too.”
“I don’t need you to thank me all day. I need you to show respect to the situation and appreciate it,” Handler said. “I don’t care how much our family annoys you. It’s the only one we’ve got, and we are stuck together for life.”
Many social media users praised Handler’s rules along with her honesty toward her family members. In one comment, an Instagram user said, “sometimes you need to spell it out!”
Another person commented that they “agree with everything you said… maybe we need to plaster your letter all over the place all over the place.”
Several others volunteered to vacation with the star, joking that they would easily follow the set of conditions.
However, others were not as amused. Some felt it unnecessary to share the sentiments with the public.
“While I tremendously appreciate that you value and respect both your staff and your family, I’m not 100% sure you needed to call out your family publicly like that,” one social media user wrote. “It’s not wrong to call them out on that behavior — I would do the same. Exact. Thing. However, I don’t think they needed to be publicly called out in front of all your followers.”
Another Instagram user wrote that it’s “never a kind thing to shame people publicly.”
“This post was for you, to get acclaim from your fans. It was not something that was intended to make your family relations better,” the social media user wrote.
In her 2025 essay featuring the letter, Handler said while it wasn’t immediately embraced by her family members, it did bring them closer together.
Handler had taken a trip to Martha’s Vineyard with her family members during the COVID-19 era and was considering an additional trip to Maine. She decided to make the Maine trip adults-only, and she felt compelled to send her nieces and nephews a message based on the behavior she had previously observed, Handler wrote in her book.
“I’ve always wanted to show them how to be generous and kind, not only to the people they love, but to strangers. During our Vineyard vacation, I’d realized that they were acting in ways that didn’t meet these standards,” the comedian wrote. “I knew I had to address it, but I had to do it with love and grace instead of my old behavior of yelling, chastising, or threatening.”
She said her family was better for it in the long run.
“I was learning that just like my experience in therapy, change in a family dynamic doesn’t happen in an instant; it happens slowly and incrementally over time, until it sticks,” Hander wrote. “I had set a boundary with them, and while the initial reaction was shock, what grew out of it was a mutual respect and appreciation.”
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