Name: Pasta windows.

Age: Pretty new.

Pasta windows? That’s never going to work; I mean as soon as it rains they’ll go soggy and collapse … Duh! Not actual windows made of pasta.

Oh, so is it a new pasta shape – like alphabetti spaghetti (remember?), but little windows? That’s so cute … Nope, not that either.

I give up then, what is a pasta window? So picture a lovely cobbled Italian square, in Rome or Florence.

Got it, I’m there. Though let’s make that a piazza, in Roma or Firenze, for the genuine Italian vibes. OK, and there’s a restaurant – sorry, trattoria – with tables outside, and stripy parasols.

Perfect. I’ll have an Aperol spritz and imagine I’m in A Room With a View while I study the menu and decide what to eat. Now look up, and sitting in the window of the restaurant is a person, perhaps an old woman, rolling and shaping the dough, then hanging it: strands of linguine, strips of tagliatelle, sheets of lasagne …

Oh my God, a proper authentic Italian nonna, working with the love and knowledge that has been passed down through the generations of the family. I have discovered the real Italy! Except maybe not.

Excuse me? It’s a tourist trap.

Who says? Actual Italians. Such as Sophie Minchilli, who does food tours of Rome and told the Washington Post that this trend for pasta windows is “wrong”. And Neapolitan chef Michele Pascarella, who told Metro that no proper Italian restaurant would display someone making pasta in the window, and one that does “is usually more of a kitschy tourist trap than an authentic restaurant”.

But, look, they’re all over Instagram! Exactly! And that nonna you can see is an Insta-gran.

Hmm, maybe there is something a bit weird about having someone on display, working in the window. Zoo-like even. Imagine a chippy with a fishwife in the window, gutting and skinning haddock.

Ew, no thanks. Any other tips for spotting a tourist trap restaurant? So you’re on the main street, and a smiling but slightly aggressive and annoyingly persistent person is waving a multi-translated and heavily laminated menu – with photos – in your face while attempting to shepherd you into their establishment …

I’m guessing that’s a no? On so many counts. See also huge places with a huge menu and a huge number of tourists in there already,but very few local people.

So where should I go? Take a stroll a few streets back – from the main drag or from the beach. Ask a local resident for their favourites.

Do say, after consulting a language app: “Mi scusi, può consigliarmi un buon ristorante?” [Excuse me, can you recommend a good restaurant?]

Don’t say: “Look, she’s doing pasta shells now. Go on, get in there with her, for a TikTok …”