Credit: CBS screenshot

I like Christian Weissmann a lot as an actor, so I put a little extra effort into trying to figure out the thought process through which Bold & Beautiful put Remy this week. It didn’t go well.

Let’s start before Dylan’s cousin snuck into Forrester Creations in a long black wig. Apparently, he’d been in touch with her since she’d been in L.A. — because he mentioned giving her tips to get her summer-school job, etc. — yet when she was homeless, he didn’t say, “Hey, come crash with me. My boyfriend just dumped me, and I could use the company.

“Also, my pizza doesn’t have that dumpster-y aftertaste!”

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No. Instead, Remy let Dylan live out of her car. And he must have known that she was homeless, too, because he also knew about her moving into Will’s beach house and getting hired at Forrester. This does not sound like the behavior of someone who’d be our favorite cousin (as we were told he is Dylan’s).

Then Remy wanted to get in touch with the erstwhile Melissa. Instead of text her, he called her using a voice-disguising app in case he was on speakerphone. Like if anyone heard the voice from Saw on the other line, that wouldn’t have waved ginormous red flags?

It gets more confounding. So even though Dylan kept hanging up on her mystery caller, Remy didn’t once whisper into the phone, “It’s me, Dyl, your cousin!” And he didn’t text her. And he didn’t simply phone in the evening when she wouldn’t be at work.

Rather, Remy snuck into Forrester, where he is persona non grata, wearing the worst wig this side of the second Taylor’s. No baseball cap, glasses and pizza box for this guy! He could’ve called out from behind the clothing rack once Dylan was alone, “Don’t be scared, it’s me, Remy.” But instead, he shocked the [bleep] out of her, causing her to let out scream that should’ve been heard two states over, never mind in the design office down the hall.

But since Bold & Beautiful has bumped logic to recurring status, absolutely no one came running.

Remy’s return got stranger still — and yes, that was somehow possible. On one hand, he kept insisting that he wasn’t the person that he had been when he terrorized Electra. But on the other, he sure talked like he was the same person, shrugging off the trauma he’d caused and ominously suggesting that Dylan owed him a favor.

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Because what? He gave her hot tips on how to land a job? Dude let her live out of her car. A couch to surf would have maybe earned him a favor, but not advice on how to get hired. If he was so good at that, anyway, maybe he wouldn’t be grousing about having to repair fridges to make a buck!

Oh, and what did Remy want from Dylan? He wanted her to put in a good word for him with her pal Deke, aka his ex. Sorry, but what? Why would Remy be asking his cousin to nudge Deke in his direction now, when she’s working at Forrester, rather than when she was working with the guy at Il Giardino every day?

Remy obviously knows every move Dylan makes — he was even aware of all the “not proper” drama between her, Will and Electra. So we can only scratch our heads over the fact that he didn’t seize the opportunity to have Dylan plead his case to Deke while they were slinging pizza together!

Apparently, the nonsensical nature of Remy’s thinking is contagious, too, because even though Dylan was worried about being caught talking to Mr. Unpopularity, she didn’t shoo him out the door. She just curled up on the couch for a catch-up session. Anybody could have come knocking, and what would she have said then? “Look who dropped by — it’s Cher!”

We’ve pleaded before, we’ll plead again: Make it make sense. Actors as nimble as Weissmann & Co. deserve material that doesn’t stretch credulity past the breaking point. Maybe in the month ahead? See what’s coming up in our expanded May Sweeps preview below.