Most love songs celebrate romantic relationships. It makes sense that humans want to love and be loved in return, as that is a genuine biological instinct.

However, people tend to overlook the importance of friendship in our society, and the amount of happiness and meaning that a genuine connection with a friend can bring into one’s life. Sometimes, people throw away their friends to focus on their romantic partner, letting not only their friendship wilt away like a flower, but also losing their identity and individuality.

“Friendship and Happiness: Across the LifeSpan and Culture,” a book by Melikşah Demir detailing scholarly research on the relationship between happiness and friendship, states that according to Aristotle, a crucial element of an ideal friendship is for individuals to “show at least some degree of care and concern for one another for their own sakes and be prepared to express that care and concern in action.”

Friendship is built on some level of mutual care. Even through midlife and with the support of a spouse, it has been proven that having a friend increases life satisfaction and self-esteem, providing a person with a support system they can rely on. 

A 2007 study found that among married participants aged 22–79 with best friends, having at least two high-quality relations — not necessarily only with the spouse — was associated with higher life satisfaction and self-esteem and lower levels of depression. In contrast, among married adults without best friends, the spousal relationship was particularly important for well-being.

Daniel Topley, a senior at the university, shared his take on friendship.

“I do different things with different people, and all those roles are very important,” Topley said. “Friendship is supposed to be intentional. That sort of intentionality gives meaning to them. There’s a little bit of ‘I got you on this thing, don’t worry about it,’ and vice versa.”

Topley also shared how friendships can increase an individual’s quality of life.

“Friendship gives life so much meaning, and they are there for us when we need them — who we can lend a hand to,” Topley said. “What’s the point in working a 9-to-5 if you don’t make meaningful connections with other people? That’s where I see that friendship is important because our friends kind of make life a little brighter.”

The study states that “the psychological literature also affirms that friendship is a reliable correlate of happiness across the life span.”

The study also reports that in a good friendship, “friends act as mirrors to one another — enhancing their knowledge of themselves — and that they share activities and values which reinforce them in the sorts of moral and intellectual activities which are constitutive of living well.” 

In other words, an ideal friendship reinforces your identity and helps you grow. 

There will always be more to love and connection than just romance. Think of a friend who colors your life with meaning and happiness. Think of a way to invest in that friendship: write them a pen pal appreciation letter or grab them their favorite coffee. You’ll find that this whimsical way of living comes right back to you.