My widowed mom is very kindly letting me and my chronically ill hubby stay in her annexe for at least a year while we save a deposit - what would be the best way to handle chores? She is in her 70s, very active, and has always been eager to help when she has stayed with us - I really do not want her to get overburdened.Hubby and I both work full time, but hubby cannot manage any housework after a day of work and has physical limitations which make it much harder anyway. Mom's house is more accessible (grab bars, level access etc) which is going to make surgery recovery a lot easier and has been impossible to find or afford on the rental market.
I work full time with about a 2 hour round trip commute and have struggled to keep on top of things historically, but am also now doing a lot better with ADHD diagnosis and medication. We paid for a cleaner in better financial days but it hasnt been possible for the past few years.
My mom has stayed with us for about six weeks in the past during a home reno and I cooked dinner and deep cleaned while she did dishes, sneakily did laundry, and did yard work (which she enjoys). I think if I am gonna avoid her over working especially at her age I will need a clear chore rota and I am also debating spending some of the rent money we are saving on a cleaner for her place. She used to have a cleaner when the kids were young but I am not sure the frequency/cost/benefit of doing this now. I am also aware that the surgery and recovery is gonna wipe both me and my hubby out when it happens and I want to plan around that.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did they manage chores and expectations? We all get on as people, fortunately, and are good at giving each other space as much as possible, but I worry I am either going to revert to a lazy teenager unintentionally or completely burn myself out trying to keep everything to a high standard for 3 people.
My widowed mom is very kindly letting me and my chronically ill hubby stay in her annexe for at least a year while we save a deposit - what would be the best way to handle chores? She is in her 70s, very active, and has always been eager to help when she has stayed with us - I really do not want her to get overburdened.
Hubby and I both work full time, but hubby cannot manage any housework after a day of work and has physical limitations which make it much harder anyway. Mom's house is more accessible (grab bars, level access etc) which is going to make surgery recovery a lot easier and has been impossible to find or afford on the rental market.
I work full time with about a 2 hour round trip commute and have struggled to keep on top of things historically, but am also now doing a lot better with ADHD diagnosis and medication. We paid for a cleaner in better financial days but it hasnt been possible for the past few years.
My mom has stayed with us for about six weeks in the past during a home reno and I cooked dinner and deep cleaned while she did dishes, sneakily did laundry, and did yard work (which she enjoys). I think if I am gonna avoid her over working especially at her age I will need a clear chore rota and I am also debating spending some of the rent money we are saving on a cleaner for her place. She used to have a cleaner when the kids were young but I am not sure the frequency/cost/benefit of doing this now. I am also aware that the surgery and recovery is gonna wipe both me and my hubby out when it happens and I want to plan around that.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did they manage chores and expectations? We all get on as people, fortunately, and are good at giving each other space as much as possible, but I worry I am either going to revert to a lazy teenager unintentionally or completely burn myself out trying to keep everything to a high standard for 3 people.
posted by anonymous to Home & Garden (3 answers total)
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