I’m starting to understand why my dad always thought I was the smartest baby in the world (he really did, the man had blind faith in my abilities).

You come home from this hospital with a human who is basically a potato that can’t do anything other than scream and suck (and mine couldn’t even do that very well — we had to get a lactation consultant involved). All of a sudden, before you know it, the potato is initiating a game of peekaboo! The potato learns to clap when you clap! The potato … is a genius! 

Anyway, Sonny’s having a great first summer. He’s hit the nine-month mark, so he’s officially been outside of me longer than he was inside me. At his most recent checkup he measured in the 99th percentile for head size and 40th percentile for weight; I seem to have given birth to a bobblehead.

His days are full of attempts at locomotion. Just a few days ago, he realized he could army-crawl-slash-slide across the floor. Unfortunately, he can currently only go backward. Double unfortunately, he doesn’t want to go backward. So most mornings you can find him slithering in reverse while yelling in frustration and occasionally smacking the floor with a free hand.

He is most interested in trying to crawl when he is on an elevated surface, for some reason; put him on a bed and all of a sudden he starts rolling like a gas station hot dog. I’m also starting to understand why plastic bags have warnings printed on them like “This is not a toy, do not give to children” because anytime Sonny sees a plastic bag he is immediately drawn to it like a moth to an exposed porch lightbulb. A very loud and persistent moth. Fortunately, having raised a very naughty Karma from puppyhood, my “snatching away dangerous object headed for mouth” instincts are by now well-honed. 

My wife’s parents have a pool and we were lucky enough to escape there during the last heat wave. It was a bit spontaneous, which is how I came to find out that none of us own a swimsuit, except for Sonny, who for some reason had one swimsuit top, but no bottoms. We also didn’t think to get swim diapers (first time parenting, am I right?), so he just went swimming Winnie the Pooh style, plus sun hat.

We figured he would probably like the pool because he loves bath time. He was a little apprehensive at first, making confused “eh eh eh” noises, because this water situation definitely wasn’t the bathtub, but he adapted quickly and after a few minutes was smiling and splashing and sitting like a little prince on a floatie.

Also, he’s absolutely fascinated by Grandpa’s mustache. It’s amazing just how many “firsts” there are for babies, including mundane ones you don’t think of until you’re trying to figure out why the baby is so utterly fascinated by a soup strainer. Because he’s never seen it before! We’re very lucky that, so far, he’s a pretty adaptable baby and is chill when faced with changes, new environments and new people. He definitely did not get this trait from me. 

Sonny is also becoming quite a little gourmand when it comes to solid food. We’ve been making baby food ourselves — a KitchenAid was the first thing my wife bought when I got pregnant — so we’ve been batch cooking and freezing lots of little baby purees. (On a personal development note, I’ve also been making lots of Crock-Pot beans lately, which longtime readers will know is a big step into cooking for me!)

There’s a lot of intense debate on the “momternet” (the mom internet) about the benefits of spoon feeding purees vs. “baby-led weaning,” which is just … giving your baby small bits of food and letting them eat it themselves with their hands. We do a bit of both — spoon feeding so he can actually get some foods into him, and then small solid amounts he can feed himself.

You have to watch him, though, because he will squirrel chunks away in his cheeks. Once he smiled at me a full half hour after dinner ended and a piece of cucumber fell out. He is slowly learning to eat like a human — including putting his sippy cup back onto the table instead of just throwing it on the floor Viking-style when he is done with it.

He has also learned that if he leans over the side of his high chair and dangles a piece of pork down at Karma the dog, he will suddenly not have a piece of pork anymore. Another valuable lesson in consequences and object permanence.